Fantasy Football is coming to Augusta N’atl.
Considered a small market, the Augusta N’atl residents balk when asked about the up-and-coming league moving to town. Most folks only come out for the azaleas, and these taxpayers will be the first to tell you that they aren’t paying for some billionaire’s fancy new fantasy football stadium. Still, the Army Dillos are hopeful they can win over the community.
I took some time to sit down with majority owner Dr. Handsome McMoneybags to find out what fans can expect from the new franchise. He was quick to define some of the team’s requirements headed into the draft.
“We will never employ Deshaun Watson,” he tells me without hesitation. “The Augusta N’atl Army Dillos refuse to employ bums. On the field and off the field- if they’re bums we don’t want them.” He would go on to hash out some of the gray area involved in scouting out prospective players.
“Tyreek is a little different story. We could probably spin some of his actions into growth and motivation to the media, if he falls to us.”
The fledgling league barely made it to the draft. A few owners were all-in right away, but getting enough suckers to sign up was a taller task than they envisioned. Dr. McMoneybags always knew they would seal the deal. “People have a lot of leagues. But the option for a salary cap? And the dynasty league sells itself.” Indeed, my sense is that these owners return to their leagues year after year wondering if they’ll draft another snake-bitten, suck pile of the NFL’s dregs. What happens if your first pick blows his ACL week 1? By getting these owners to agree to return year after year and keep their players, I think this fantasy league will turn into something special.
- Stan Strumbowskavich, Army Dillos beat writer