Hello and apologies to all my adoring readers. You may have noticed a hiatus in my posts, I assure you I am in good health and spirits despite a brief misunderstanding with the law. I am unable to comment on an ongoing investigation, but I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Nor did I drive home aggressively impaired from said non-existent sexual relations as the District Attorney has alleged. And those pills were not mine! That slut must have planted them.
Enough of my dirty laundry- you came here for a dyNASTY League column and damnit that’s what you’ll get. There’s been a lot of action over the past few weeks so I should dive right in. Let’s look at the standings after the first 5/17s of the season.
This is fun to look at, but this modern era is all about analytics, so let’s do some advanced filtering. First, let’s look at Points For to analyze who is putting up the numbers:
Quite interesting, quite interesting. Now let’s filter by Points Against to find out who is the most snake bitten team:
And now we have a full picture worth commenting on.
Justin Time has thrown the kitchen sink at their roster, combing the waiver wire like a hungry hungry hippo. Only 60 PF separates them from the 4-1 Pittman’s Hitman. Unfortunately they have a mountain to climb with the toughest schedule so far by a landslide.
Alternatively, Trev’s Bag of D’s has taken first place by beating the shit out of the 2nd easiest schedule thus far.
Did I miss by calling Augusta N’atl the best drafted team? Without making a single roster move they’ve outscored the league and faced a top-four tough schedule. Of the 9 remaining weeks, The Army Dillos will only have 4 matchups against teams currently under .500. We’ll see if Coach Madden 23 can find ways to scrap with the leagues best, especially after a demoralizing loss to division rival Portland Greasers, who waxed the ‘Dillos with their best performance yet.
The race to be in the top six teams to make the playoffs will be heated! There are (4) teams at 4-1: Angry Mommas, Pittman’s Hitman, Trev’s Bag of D’s and the Portland Greasers. This upcoming week will be an important battle to establish dominance over the division or lose footing and create chaos in the bubble positions.
Is it Justin Time’s week, or will Pittman’s Hitman eek out another win against the dregs of the league? Angry Mommas and The Corn Dogs could both be 4-2, and either Duckbutt or the ‘Dillos will fall to 3-3 and see their playoff hopes take a big hit.
It is an exciting time to be covering such a fascinating league! Anything could happen!
Stan Strumbowskavich, Army Dillos beat writer