Finally, a wild night is over and our teams are drafted. This draft had it all; overpaying, stealing at far under value, poor internet connections, bidding wars lost, and owners stuck with the guy they were only trying to drive the price up on. Some faired well, some found their math skills overwhelmed, and others found their careful research rewarding.
Worth noting is the change earlier in the day to increase the salary cap. Some say the Commissioner showed his colors by bending to an irritating owner, who might’ve been testing the commish to see how hard he could push. I am in the camp that the suggested change was vital to league success (especially after watching some GM’s manage their budgets). The low cap to roster ratio was an oversight by all members but one, whose intuition into draft proceedings wouldn’t necessarily go on to manifest as an overly successful draft. Commissioner Read had this to say:
“Valid points were made beforehand and taken into heavy consideration and deliberation from myself and my team. Might have lead to some overspending in the first couple rounds but no regrets from our side. Made for a historic start to the season.”
Enough of that, let’s get into it.
AUGUSTA N’ATL ARMY DILLOS
ESPN Draft Grade: 1 of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: A++
This draft is the gold standard for all other drafts to be ranked against. GM Smith lost an early battle for Cooper Kupp to his brother of the Portland Greasers (a divisional rivalry this writer is keeping a close eye on). The big spending for the ‘Dillos came at the hopeful Steeler bell cow Najee Harris ($84), Lions heavy lifting D’Andre Swift ($79) and Tyreek Hill ($61). The highlight for many fans had to be the three consecutive picks of Jalen Hurts ($19), Juju Smith-Schuster ($9) and Russell Wilson ($7). GM Smith gave Augusta a roster full of prominent young talent with proven stars that are ready to win now.
MANCH VEGAS TREV’S DYNASTY
ESPN Draft Grade: 2 of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: B+
Fantasy is all about names, and this team has some NAMES. Derrick Henry ($91), Deebo Samuel ($80) and Davante Adams ($77) make up 70% of their cap space. How is MANCH VEGAS ranked right below a highly touted Dillos lineup? For one, Allen Robinson for $11 was a massive steal. I think Kirk Cousins ($3) will have a bigger than projected year, but Tom Brady ($24) might not. I don’t know how I feel about two dollar Tua. Great price, but I’m not sure he’s the guy. Although with McDaniel at the helm, Tua could see a lot of time in the MANCH VEGAS lineup. I think this is the team I want headed into the 2020 season, but maybe not 2022.
ANGRY MOMMA
ESPN Draft Grade: 3 of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: A
In a dynasty league with a super flex position, it is hard to believe ANGRY MOMMA were able to pick up Patrick Mahomes, Matthew Stafford and Jordan Love for a combined $82. While first pick DK Metcalf ($46) will be scrutinized, GM Read is hopeful he is traded to a win-now championship calibre club as Pete Carroll runs the Seahawks into the ground. ANGRY MOMMA have some big names that will surely sell merch, and somehow had money left after tagging Austin Ekeler to a $101 deal, and got to hand-pick a juicy list of prospects. Look for ANGRY MOMMA to lead the EAST.
TEAM DUBE
ESPN Draft Grade: 4 of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: C
For Team Dube, 9 players account for 96% of their spending. This surely masks the late round steals acquired like Odell Beckham Jr (FA) ($1) and Cole Beasley (FA) ($1). Fans will have plenty of high-flying action and loaded box scores to look forward to: Travis Kelce ($64) and T.J. Hockenson ($26) might be the most dangerous TE duo in the league, and Kyler Murray ($29) and Amon-Ra St. Brown ($29) are spending the season looking for win streaks instead of Call of Duty kill streaks. With James Connor ($54) on the ground, Team Dube has heavily invested weekly starters on Arizona Cardinal and Detroit Lion fantasy success.
TEAM DUCKBUTT
ESPN Draft Grade: 5 of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: B+
DUCKBUTT won the Jonathon Taylor sweepstakes to the tune of $98. GM Power rounded out a roster of hopefuls and scored big in the $1-5 range, but not before getting a strong receiving core at moderate value. Gabe Davis ($30), Tee Higgins ($41) and Courtland Sutton ($34) give DUCKBUTT a chance to compete every weekend. How about Damien Pierce at $5? The glaring hole on this team is the QB position; Matt Ryan ($2), Justin Fields ($4) and Tyler Huntley ($1) won’t be selling many DUCKBUTT jerseys. I rank this draft ahead of TEAM DUBE because of the depth at the FLEX positions- we’ll just have to see if their RBs/WRs/TEs can pick up some QB slack.
WE PLAY 4 RINGS UN THE VALLEY
ESPN Draft Grade: 6 of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: D
Where to start. Not sure I get the team’s name, but much respect for inking Ja’Marr Chase for $111, making him the most expensive player in the league. There are a few nice players in the $40 range; Aaron Jones ($47), George Kittle ($45) and Keenan Allen ($43). I love Jerry Jeudy ($37) with a real quarterback this year. GM Flippillenko did their best to find value later in the draft, but 73% of the roster was given just 5% of the salary, so depth is a challenge. There are 12 teams of 26 players each in this league, so I hope RINGS weren’t expecting to be scoring from the waiver wire this season.
TEAM CARDARELLI
ESPN Draft Grade: 7 out of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: B
Not sure where ESPN’s bias is coming here- this is a deep roster of B listers with future star potential. CARDARELLI’s most expensive picks are Michael Pittman and Saquon Barkley at $62 each. A little investiture in the Jaguars doesn’t scare me, Travis Etienne Jr ($24) and Trevor Lawrence ($3) will lead their squad on the fantasy field. DJ Moore ($39), Kareem Hunt ($10) and Kadarius Toney ($9) are value picks that anchor this team. Trey Lance ($12), Lamar Jackson ($37) shore up a tough-to-contend-with Super Flex for CARDARELLI every week. I think this squad is well balanced with some upside and should be pushing into the playoffs.
THE CORN DOGS
ESPN Draft Grade: 8 out of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: C+
Fear THE CORN DOGS! This is the team you don’t want to lose to, but will. We’re back to names: Christian McCaffery ($90), Stefon Diggs ($98), DeAndre Hopkins ($11), Aaron Rodgers ($15), Elijah Moore ($31). This team has to be attacked with a solid super flex, their backup quarterback Geno Smith ($1) will lead a flailing Seahawks to a 3-14 season until THE CORN DOGS get Deshaun Watson ($1) back from therapy. We can only hope his guaranteed contract is already spoken for in settlement money- but this league proved it’s moral high ground by not offering an extremely dangerous fantasy weapon any more money than Geno Fucking Smith. I am proud to cover a league that really knows where it stands. THE CORN DOGS will play spoiler.
STEP TEAM
ESPN Draft Grade: 9 out of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: D
STEP TEAM stepped back and deferred to next year. Taking Evan McPherson, K, for $6 is sexy but won’t equate to any wins in this league. How the fuck is Joe Mixon ($70) only 26 years old? Pretty sure Russ went to Denver to COOK- not sure how much playing from ahead they’ll do in a challenging division. CeeDee Lamb ($80) is a stud, as is Kyle Pitts ($70). Jameis Winston ($25) and Derek Carr ($3) will hold their own, but this team is shallow and drops off quickly. Jaylen Waddle ($41) will benefit from a good offense but was taken too expensive. Chris Godwin ($23) and the Bucs have their best days behind them and their O-line will dramatically impact their production. I do like AJ Dillon ($3), but I’ll still be pissed when the Dillos put out a stinker and lose to STEP TEAM week 10.
JOE BUCK YOURSELF
ESPN Draft Grade: 10 out of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: D
Name? 10/10. Draft: eh. Josh Allen ($93) and Dalvin Cook ($78) are great pieces to build around, but WR1 Adam Thielen ($37) and WR2 Nico Collins ($4) aren’t even the top receivers on their teams. Clyde Edwards-Helaire ($45), Nick Chubb ($61) and Elijah Mitchell ($6) are B listers who won’t have the same pop as the leagues best stars. I’m hopeful Jarvis Landy ($1) will step up in production, and JD McKissic ($1) might have a strong season, but GM’s should feel bad losing to JOE BUCK YOURSELF.
PORTLAND GREASERS
ESPN Draft Grade: 11 out of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: D-
Cooper Kupp ($94) is a good price considering some other star players’ values. Picks 2 and 3 Leonard Fournette ($62) and Mike Evans ($74) puts a lot of faith in a Bucs offense I’ve already mentioned being wary of. QB’s Mac Jones ($37) and Baker Mayfield ($1) will put up RB2 numbers. Diontae Johnson ($30) is poised to be the WR1 the GREASERS need, but the depth falls off quickly for this team. Again, the waiver wire will be under a magnifying glass by several teams all season.
JUSTIN TIME
ESPN Draft Grade: 12 out of 12
Stan’s Draft Grade: B
Is ESPN drunk? Justin Jefferson ($103), Javonte Williams ($90), Terry McLaurin ($42), Justin Herbert ($60). The list goes on. This is a team ready to win now AND next year, and the year after that, and the year after that. JUSTIN TIME is hoping they have a diamond in the rough on their bench, the roster isn’t particularly deep- but they have a host of young stars all with Top-10 potential at their positions. Go home ESPN- JUSTIN TIME will compete at the top of the league.